My husband and I are both a little sleep deprived this morning. For the fourth night in a row, our 5-month-old son has not slept much, and therefore neither have we.
Since he was born, he has never been a very good sleeper. Since I’ve been home (for over a month now) I’ve been trying to ease him into some kind of schedule, while hoping he will remain flexible enough for the occasional outing or visit.
No such luck. He seems to want to eat, sleep, and play at random. Over the last week, I’ve managed to get the day schedule to have some semblance of structure, but the nights are always wild cards.
We’ve gotten all kinds of advice, and tried everything short of the cry-it-out method, which most of my relatives insist is the piece of the puzzle I’m missing. While I pass no judgment on those who do this, I simply don’t want to. I suffered no lifelong psychological ills from this method being applied to me as a baby. Likewise, I really don’t believe not letting my son cry-it-out is somehow crippling his ability to be an independent sleeper in the future. It is simply a matter of preference.
So, I will press on trying to console him to sleep in some form or another. Lavender nighttime baths, nursing, rocking, singing, a funny little creature that projects blue stars onto the ceiling. And I will resign to the fact that this is a phase, like a zillion others I will face before I’m done raising babies.
This morning, while my little guy was belly-laughing in his high chair at my funny faces, I heard a song that happened to perfectly fit the moment. It won’t be like this for long. The sleepless nights go hand-in-hand with the most beautiful mornings I have ever had.
Even if the sleeplessness seems like it will last forever, this moment in my and my son’s lives will be gone long before I truly appreciate them. Soon, I will be worrying about teenage driving, grades, and my baby leaving home. So, for now I will try my best to be present in the moment and try to remember to enjoy the fleeting joys of babyhood.