This blog may be collecting dust, but I have made yet another promise to myself to get back on here and write about my journey (Hey, there is something to be said for continuing to make an effort after failure, right?)
That aside, I have some pretty big news: My husband and I are expecting a baby! This blog has been so neglected, that I am only writing about it now, 3 weeks from the little one’s due date.
And for all my musings about work and getting back to nature and what it is all for, there is nothing like the impending arrival of a child to turn all that philosophizing on its head. In fact, during this pregnancy, a lot of my old worries have been deemed completely self-indulgent/not important considering. Which is good. For now.
I have also discovered the mommy wars, and man (or woman) is it tough out there. There are so many opinions on the best way and the right way and the oh-no-dear-God-she-didn’t way. I would be easier to not let all the hoopla get to me if this wasn’t such a big deal.
To work or stay at home?
Natural birth or medication? Midwife or OB?
Breast or formula?
Glass or plastic?
Attachment parenting? Cry it out?
Cloth or disposable diapers?
It makes my head spin. And while I’ve manage to make my decisions on many of the looming questions. I can’t help but feel overwhelmed and sad that modern parenting has been reduced to warfare of what is “right” and “wrong,” with staunch defenders on all sides of each and every tiny issue.
I feel disapproving eyes each time I make a trip to Starbucks. “It’s decaf!” I want to scream, even though my midwife told me caffeine is fine in moderation. I feel judged each time I walk into a store without my wedding rings because my fingers are swollen beyond recognition, and yet I am annoyed at my sensitivity since we live in the 21st century, and it is no one’s damn business if I am married or not. Nothing like the precious and vulnerable life of a child to bring out the most judgmental part of society (and self-consciousness in me.)
All I know right now is I ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Nevertheless, I am beyond joyful for this new journey in my life, and will approach it with open arms and and open mind.